Homeward Bound

We are headed home. In a little over four weeks, we will have packed up the small amount of clothes we brought and the enormous amount of books and miscellaneous stuff we’ve accumulated and will be boarding a plane back to the U.S. of A. Dan’s project ended about three months early, and there are no other international projects available for him to work on, so off we go.

The news for us is bittersweet. We were very much looking forward to having an additional three-four months here, now that Australia really feels like home and the weather is just turning blissfully cool. And being so far (far far far!) away from the US, I honestly don’t know the next time we will have an opportunity to visit this part of the world, and there are so many places we hoped to check out before leaving. We were also open to spending another year abroad somewhere else, but that opportunity isn’t available.

That said, I have no right to whine (or whinge, as they say here). We are very excited to return to family, friends, and beautiful summer weather in Vermont. Being so far from family and friends was undeniably the toughest part of this move. Dan and I recognize how incredibly fortunate we are to have had these 9 months in Australia. During this time, Syd has evolved from a baby into a little girl, who now carries conversations with me, lives for all things dinosaur, insists on only wearing dresses – she didn’t get that from me! – and keeps me laughing all day long. Moving here was truly a leap of faith, and thankfully it has been the most exciting adventure of my life (alongside motherhood). I am so grateful to have had this experience.

And so the adventure continues. We are excited to see where life takes us when we’re back in the States.

My visit to the ER of Sydney’s Children’s Hospital AKA why you shouldn’t ever Google your child’s ailment

Yesterday Dan, Syd, and I had the pleasure of visiting the emergency room of Sydney’s Children’s Hospital. Before I go on, Syd is 100% fine. But we enjoyed many an adventure while sorting out what the heck was going on…

Yesterday morning, Sydney woke up and inexplicably began crawling everywhere. The night before, she was running around like her normal 2.5 year old self, but come morning, she regressed to crawling like a baby. It wasn’t just a few seconds of “Look at me, I’m a baby!” funny sort of crawling. Picture more like a creepy full-size toddler crawling on the ceiling in a bad Naomi Watts horror movie. (Is it heresy to poke fun at Naomi Watts in her native land? I’m not sure.) Dan and I kept lifting Syd up by her armpits to get her to walk, thinking this was just some early morning shtick, but Syd insistently told us she “couldn’t” walk and kept curling up her little right foot into a ball. We pressed on her little feet, which didn’t elicit any pain, and Syd was unable to pinpoint exactly where her feet hurt beyond pointing out the long-healed blisters on the insides of her foot – not the likely culprits.

Dan and I still hoped that the crawling was a cry for attention and nothing more. I brought little Syd to the neighborhood playgroup; Syd happily crawled around the room for an hour and a half, not once putting her foot down, not even to participate in her favorite activities like running under the parachute or sliding. At this point, I was thinking that if Syd was making it up, not even Meryl Streep could act this well when she was just 2.5 years old.

When I got home and got Syd down for her nap, I called my local general practitioner’s office; in Oz, general practitioners (GP’s) are jack-of-all-trades and often the first and only doctors you need to see. The receptionist – the receptionist mind you – was alarmed to hear that my 2.5-year-old daughter wasn’t walking. Somehow I permitted her concern (“Oh yes, you must get here right away!”) to stop my heart for a second. Oh no – there was really something wrong!

And then I did The Stupid Thing that Too Many Parents Have Done – I Googled Syd’s symptoms. Specifically, I Googled “My 2.5 year old suddenly won’t walk.” And I made another silly mistake by then painstakingly reading the conversation in a forum called “Wrong Diagnosis.com.” The title alone should have shouted, “Stop Mandy stop! Train wreck ahead!”

According to the conversation in Wrong Diagnosis, the best case scenario is that Syd could have some sort of gait abnormality. The sudden onset of her crawling, though, made me rule that one out. (See, I was ruling things out, pretending to be a doctor. Bad idea!) The worst case scenario was that she had a rare neurological condition called pediatric Guillain-Barre syndrome, described here:

Guillain-Barrè (ghee-yan bah-ray) syndrome is a disorder in which the body's immune system attacks part of the peripheral nervous system. The first symptoms of this disorder include varying degrees of weakness or tingling sensations in the legs. In many instances the weakness and abnormal sensations spread to the arms and upper body. These symptoms can increase in intensity until certain muscles cannot be used at all and, when severe, the patient is almost totally paralyzed.

Now I was barely breathing. Oh my gosh. You mean this is going to travel up Syd’s legs until she is paralyzed. OMG OMG. I called my poor father in the middle of the night to get his opinion. My wonderful Dad is an ob/gyn and thankfully has been getting calls in the middle of the night for over 30 years, so he didn’t miss a beat when I called. He put my mind at rest that Syd likely didn’t have Guillain-Barre Syndrome, but agreed that it was a good idea to have Syd checked out at the doctor’s. Gulp.

Off we went to the GP’s office. We love our GP – she is a sassy, no-nonsense middle-aged Aussie woman that I saw a couple times when I got whooping cough in January. (I know – who’s contracted whooping cough since the Middle Ages!? Me.). Anyhow, Syd’s neurological exam was completely normal. Huge sighs of relief. But when the doctor pressed hard on Syd’s heel, Syd winced and was in visible discomfort. The GP thought that Syd might have a bone spur in her heel. At this point Dan and I are breathing normally - a bone spur - yes, we can definitely deal what that! She made a quick call to an orthopedic surgeon friend of hers, who suggested that the most expeditious way of dealing with Syd’s injury was to go to the ER for an x-ray and to see a specialist on site.

So off we went. We collapsed the stroller, hailed a taxi, and $30 later, arrived at the Sydney Children’s Hospital’s ER. We waited in the ER less than 30 minutes (yay Aussie healthcare) before meeting with Dr. Sam, an adorable ER physician probably five years my junior. (Yes, he was adorable. I can still look, can’t I?!) He cajoled Syd with bubbles, trying to get her to run after them. His adorable antics didn't work: she giggled and tried to pop the bubbles while resting on her knees. Dr. Sam also kept pressing on her heel but couldn’t duplicate the pain that Syd’s GP elicited.

And then. The Question. Dr. Sam nonchalantly asked Dan and I, “Did you treat her foot pain today with some Panadol [Tylenol]?” Dan and I looked at each other sheepishly and shook our heads in shame. No. We never thought to do something as basic as give her Children’s Tylenol, which I had painstakingly brought over from the US. Over-the-counter pain medication – genius!

Dr. Sam didn’t think an x-ray was necessary and ultimately decided, after consultation with his boss (who I can only imagine was shaking his head and laughing at the stupid Yankees in Consultation Room 3) that Syd has a bruised heel. A “soft tissue injury,” as Syd’s discharge papers say, probably from running around too much at the zoo the day before, or maybe from a rock getting into her Crocs. Dr. Sam gave Syd some delicious cherry Panadol and off we went. A $100 payment to the ER (just $100!) and a $30 cab ride later, we were home. Today Syd is walking and running almost entirely normally on her right foot and keeps telling everyone that, “My foot doesn’t hurt anymore. The doctor fixed it!” I hold my head down in shame.

So what did we learn? Aussie healthcare rocks – efficient and affordable. Don’t ever, ever, ever Google what’s wrong with your kid: let the doctors do the diagnosing. And, most importantly, try Tylenol first.

The nature of friendships abroad

In the space of a month, I’ve said goodbye to three dear friends who were moving elsewhere. First, a few weeks ago, my closest friend in Sydney moved back to NY with her husband and two children. Our families became incredibly close friends the moment we met, and loved spending weekends traveling and exploring together. Last weekend another dear friend and her family left Sydney to live in New Zealand for five weeks and, upon their return, have just a few months left in Oz before returning to the States. And, three nights ago, I said goodbye to another wonderful family, of Spanish and English background, that moved across the country to another Australian city. This family lived in the apartment building next door to us and Syd and their three-year-old daughter played together many nights at our neighborhood playground. Explaining their sudden absence to Syd has been challenging.

The common denominator for all of us is that we are (or were) expats living abroad in Australia. We are fortunate to live in Pyrmont, a lovely neighborhood of Sydney that is chock full of expats from all over the world. In addition to Australian, our friends and neighbors are an incredible mix of nationalities: Spanish, Mexican, Irish, Korean, Japanese, Brazilian, French, Korean, Hungarian – the list goes on and on. Every expat has a fascinating story of where they came from and how they ended up in Australia.

One of the privileges of being an expat is sampling the tastes, sounds, and experiences of a foreign land. And one of the downsides of being an expat is that, for many of us, it’s for a finite period. You would think, due to the transitory nature of many expats’ time abroad, that the friendships you form are superficial. I’ve found, however, that the opposite is true: while you may only make a few good friends while living abroad, the friendships that you foster are deep and meaningful. I credit the genuineness of these friendships to the fact that you know from the outset that you only have a short time together, before one or the other families skips town. There’s no pussyfooting around – gone are the days of having dinner with a family one week and not seeing them again for a month or two - if you like someone, you seem them, a lot! We have found so many kindred souls here that also took the plunge of moving across the world to live in this wonderful country. The shared sense of adventure unites all of us in a way that I could not have anticipated.

We are half way through our year in Australia and I can already picture that time when we too will be packing up our things and leaving (where we’ll go next is still to be determined). I know that after living here for a year that we will only have scratched the surface of this incredible part of the world. Perhaps we’ll be lucky enough to visit again someday. In the meantime, I look forward to staying in touch with the friends I made in Australia, friendships that I anticipate will last long after our time here.

My Favorite Australian Words/Phrases

While moving across the world to a foreign land was certainly daunting, the move was a bit less intimidating as we assumed there’d be no language barrier. Since moving here, though, we’ve found (much to our delight) that Australian vernacular includes a lot of words and phrases that are used almost like but not quite like how they’d be used in America, which can lead to a bit of confusion. They also use a lot of words we’d previously never heard, the meaning of which isn’t always self-explanatory. Most of these words/phrases evidence the friendly, happy, and relaxed attitude we have found most Aussies to have.

Below are a few of my favorites Aussie words/phrases that I run across frequently:

Nice: A word Americans typically reserve to describe a not-so-attractive-but-very-pleasant date from the night before (whom you never plan to see again), Aussies fully embrace the word and actually intend it as a compliment. When a peanut butter sandwich I’ve made is described as “nice” by an Australian, in that ridiculously beautiful accent of theirs, it feels like the highest compliment. That accent makes even the most mundane words sound distinguished.

Aluminum: the word is spelled exactly like the way we spell it, but pronounced in such a way to render it almost unrecognizable: al – loo – mini – umm. I love it!

Thongs: Thongs here refer to flip flops, and they are ubiquitous: people of all ages wear them everywhere, with practically every type of clothing. Since Americans typically use the word to describe the skimpier sort of underwear, I try not to giggle each time I hear it. My American expat friend Sarah who has lived in Oz for many years recalls traveling back to America and asking the (blushing and dumbstruck) security officers if they wanted her to take off her thongs before going through the metal detector.

Goodonya/goodonyou: when you’ve done something that impresses an Aussie, they quite agreeably say, “goodonyou/ya” (sometimes followed by “mate”). Oftentimes I’m bestowed with this phrase after achieving something that didn’t (or shouldn’t) require much effort on my end.

E.g.,

-Mandy: “I crossed three streets today without being hit by a car.” [Cars drive on the left-hand side of the road, so every day without being hit by a car is a personal victory.]

-Aussie: “Goodonya!”

Sultanas: they look and taste exactly like raisins but yet the word “raisin” is nowhere to be found in Aussie grocery stores. I’ve just learned from the authoritative source urbandictionary.com that a sultana is not exactly the same as a raisin:

Sultana: an annoyingly addictive fruit kind of like a raisin but browner, smaller and more sugary. Is included in the breakfast cereal Sultana Bran.

Chicken schnitzel: Like a giant fried chicken breast or enormous, flat chicken nugget, chicken schnitzel is one of the staples of Aussie pub food. They are also sold pre-breaded at local groceries stores for less than $2 and can be pan-fried in about two minutes flat. They are delicious (but perhaps not too nutritious).

Mate: yes, people you don’t know refer to you as their “mate.” It’s a friendly expression that’s quite endearing.

Ta: like many Brits, some Australians say “ta” instead of “thank you.” I love this too – it’s as if it’s just too much effort to utter “thank you.”

Nappies: diapers are nappies. At Syd’s daycare, Syd gives her teachers a blank stare when they ask if they can change her “nappy.” I’m working on adding this word to our vocabulary.

There are so many more great Aussie phrases and words. These, though, are my favorites. Anyone else have others to add?

What I Miss

I was forewarned before becoming an ex-pat that I would likely go through a honeymoon phase, during which I am enamored with the myriad wonderful things my new home has to follow, quickly followed by a period of homesickness. I think I have just begun the homesickness stage. Please don’t think I’m ungrateful: my life here is incredible, and I feel so blessed to have this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to explore this wondrous country with my little buddy at my side. The people, the weather, the food, the scenery, oh my! But it would be disingenuous if I pretended that I don’t have moments of acute longing for certain familiar things back home.

The BritishExpats.com website summarizes my feelings well:

The weeks that immediately follow our arrival in a new country can be extremely exciting. A Pandora’s Box of new sounds, sights and experiences distracts us while the unpacking and formalities of acquiring essentials - from accommodation to a local driving licence - keep us well occupied for a further few weeks.

However, as life settles into a routine and the surroundings cease to feel quite so 'exotic'; feelings of homesickness might begin to appear. In fact, it would be rare to find an expat who hasn’t, at one time or another, felt the twinges of homesickness whilst living abroad.

Here’s a list of those things that tug at my heartstrings most often (in no particular order):

(1) Friends and family. Duh.

(2) My dog Nevis and cat Licorice. While both have found wonderful, loving homes, I miss both of their constant presences so much that my heart literally aches.

(3) That special time each day when I picked up Sydney from daycare and enjoyed the camaraderie of both her teachers and the fellow parents in the playground. While pick up from daycare could be challenging (particularly when Syd didn’t want to leave and tantrumed her whole way to the car), I viewed it as an opportunity to unwind from a day at work and be among friends.

(4) Flavored creamer for my coffee. Specifically, non-fat hazelnut or vanilla creamer full of artificial flavors that I so liberally added to my coffee each day that it almost tasted like a milkshake. I can’t find it anywhere, and instead am using that awful Coffee Mate dust in my coffee each day, which globs at the surface as if mocking my efforts to duplicate my coffee back home. (Please note that when I buy a cup of coffee outside my house, Australian coffee shops make the best cup of coffee I’ve ever had (with the exception of Philz Coffee in San Francisco, which I was recently introduced to.) Australian cappuccinos and “long whites” are to die for.)

(5) Our house and neighbors on Loomis Street. While the house always felt a bit too big for us, I miss its cozy living room and Syd’s fabulous playroom. I also miss my incredible neighbors on Loomis Street, who became like family soon upon our move there.

(6) Watching Syd play so gleefully and naturally with her best friends Margo and Amelia. Triple Trouble is a sight (and sound) to behold. Syd is starting daycare one day a week this month mostly for socialization reasons, but I doubt she can replicate those magical friendships.

(7) Paperback books that cost less than $20-30. I am astonished by the price of books over here and have started scrounging the clearance sections at bookstores, resulting on more than one occasion in me purchasing lousy books that I wouldn’t have bought otherwise (and don’t end up finishing).

(8) Costco. How I miss your bulk granola bars, goldfish, fruit snacks, and Kirkland-brand diapers and wipes.

Don't get me wrong, my list of things that I love about Australia could already be pages long. But above are some of the things that I crave from back home most often. In the meantime, we are making noble efforts to make new friends and really become part of our community. No doubt when our time Down Under has ended, there will be much we miss tremendously about Oz.